“ NEVER HAVE PANCAKES FOR BREAKFAST. Pancakes are a dead end. If looked back on my life and saw the number of days that were a total wash because I had pancakes for breakfast, it would shock you… Eating pancakes for breakfast leads to an immediate post-breakfast nap, followed by waking up in the middle of the afternoon feeling disgusted with myself, but still unable to motivate to do anything. Pancakes lead to lost weekends, like Trainspotting .”—
Last week, I discovered Henry Cavill has recently become engaged.
Now, I consider myself a reasonably GB so hey, I’ll let him go, his girl won fair and square. The problem is that I’ve lost my fantasy celebrity husband. My fantasy children have lost their surnames, curly dark hair, blue eyes, and butt chins.
So I’ve been feeling a bit adrift. But tonight I started actively looking for a new fantasy celebrity man in my life. I narrowed it down to two tall and attractive men - (you shorter girls are so lucky that Zac Efron and Emile Hirsch are available as fantasy celebrity husbands - they’re relegated to co-star, BFF status for me) - Adam Brody and Ryan Gosling. As you can see above, Ry won out. He’s a little taller, a little younger, a little more single, a little more eeyore-eyes, a little more Dead Man’s Bones, a little more motorbike-rider, and a LOT more Lars & the Real Girl. AND when he was 17, he spent two years in NZ. AND when he went on Ellen, he wore footsie pyjamas. Dreamboat. You can also see from the above photo that he wears plaid (a necessity), smokes (UNHEALTHY, so he’s kind of dangerous, and it makes for a good picture), and owns a fluffy dog. Just my kind of man.
Don’t feel too bad for Adam. He’s still adorable. And if Ryan gets engaged that ho better get OUT of my way, I’ll have him. For the moment, he’s been adopted by my best friend Michelle, who’s also trying to get me to set her up with one of my fantasy celebrity BFFLs, Harry Shum, Jr. So, if that satisfies your curiosity into my married life, Ryan and I will be off to cuddle - we have a crossword to do together over coffee tomorrow morning, after we walk the dog.